Her children arise and call her "stressed!"
Proverbs 31:28
I was telling Joel on the way to church this morning that I don't really feel like I deserve to be celebrated today. The transition from one child to two has been pretty stressful and overwhelming at times and it's brought out some very ugly things in me.
One day, I was reading in Proverbs and it read,
I was telling Joel on the way to church this morning that I don't really feel like I deserve to be celebrated today. The transition from one child to two has been pretty stressful and overwhelming at times and it's brought out some very ugly things in me.
One day, I was reading in Proverbs and it read,
"Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife."
and I thought, "I'm so glad I'm not one of those women...at least not today." Then 4:00 came. And I became that woman and Joel was wondering if he could sleep on the balcony that night.
Most days have been wonderful. I absolutely love our two children.
Some days, though, I find myself saying, "if Elijah would just sleep for longer than a half an hour I could get some "work" done!" And Joel lovingly and patiently reminds me...Elijah is my work right now.
One day I was crying and upset at Joel because I had asked him to help me. I was trying to get dinner ready and probably doing laundry, talking on the phone, emptying the dishwasher and both kids were also needing attention. So his "help" was to take the kids to the living room and hold them while sitting on the bean-bag chair and watch a movie with them. I was so hurt and wanted so badly to join them all but felt this pull to get my "work" done around the house that I got mad at Joel for helping me! Crazy, I know! And it's happened more than once! : ) Poor Joel, you really should pray for that guy!
That night, through tears, I told Joel that I was feeling like I couldn't just enjoy the kids like he was doing because I had so much "work" to do. I thought that if he came home from work and I was just sitting in the living room playing with the kids and had no idea what we would be eating for dinner that night that he would think I'm lazy/a bad housekeeper/irresponsible/blah, blah, blah. I will never forget his response. He said, "You know what I would think?" (I was nervous... was there something I'd missed?!) "I would think that you're a good Mom."
I couldn't believe it. He would actually be proud of me for not getting laundry done that day because I chose to color with Abigail instead. He would be more drawn to me by watching me interact with Abigail and Elijah than if the bathroom was clean.
It was so freeing. It's still a struggle some days...one that I am growing in and enjoying the freedom and joy that it brings.
So today I have enjoyed being celebrated by Joel, Abigail and Elijah despite my failures. And again this year, celebrating God for his goodness, mercy and loving-kindness in giving me the amazing gift of being the Mom of our two sweets, Abigail and Elijah and for the honor to be a parent alongside my dear husband, Joel.
Most days have been wonderful. I absolutely love our two children.
Some days, though, I find myself saying, "if Elijah would just sleep for longer than a half an hour I could get some "work" done!" And Joel lovingly and patiently reminds me...Elijah is my work right now.
One day I was crying and upset at Joel because I had asked him to help me. I was trying to get dinner ready and probably doing laundry, talking on the phone, emptying the dishwasher and both kids were also needing attention. So his "help" was to take the kids to the living room and hold them while sitting on the bean-bag chair and watch a movie with them. I was so hurt and wanted so badly to join them all but felt this pull to get my "work" done around the house that I got mad at Joel for helping me! Crazy, I know! And it's happened more than once! : ) Poor Joel, you really should pray for that guy!
That night, through tears, I told Joel that I was feeling like I couldn't just enjoy the kids like he was doing because I had so much "work" to do. I thought that if he came home from work and I was just sitting in the living room playing with the kids and had no idea what we would be eating for dinner that night that he would think I'm lazy/a bad housekeeper/irresponsible/blah, blah, blah. I will never forget his response. He said, "You know what I would think?" (I was nervous... was there something I'd missed?!) "I would think that you're a good Mom."
I couldn't believe it. He would actually be proud of me for not getting laundry done that day because I chose to color with Abigail instead. He would be more drawn to me by watching me interact with Abigail and Elijah than if the bathroom was clean.
It was so freeing. It's still a struggle some days...one that I am growing in and enjoying the freedom and joy that it brings.
So today I have enjoyed being celebrated by Joel, Abigail and Elijah despite my failures. And again this year, celebrating God for his goodness, mercy and loving-kindness in giving me the amazing gift of being the Mom of our two sweets, Abigail and Elijah and for the honor to be a parent alongside my dear husband, Joel.
4 comments:
Amy's "paraphrase", I see! It is so great to see you interacting with your two children. You do such a good job...and thank you for thanking me! I wouldn't have traded that time for anything. We had a precious two weeks with our grandchildren, and of course, our child, and then Joel when he returned. Joel had such a good point, you need to take every opportunity that you can to love on them, have fun with them, and teach them as you go. The bathroom and the wash will get done in its time. Happy Mother's Day, I love you.
Love, Mom
Amy, you sound pretty "normal" to me and you are blessed to have a husband to celebrate you on more than just "Mother's Day". (I am too!!) God is good. In answer to your above post, I agree that God is good to provide for us each and every day!! Melanie B.
Amy, I too often just need to put down the dishes, get down on the floor and pick up the toys to play with Noah. I don't have 2 yet but someday I'll be in that place and I bet I'll need to ask for advice. I know who to turn to right? I'm so glad we have husbands who support us so well and are okay with PB&J and a messy house but a happy family. Now if only WE would remember that too!
From one Amy to another Amy who thinks alike....but then again all young mother's who have transitioned from one to two thinks this way....I do believe. I found I have to fight the battle of "must do" in my head and take it to my heart through a brief prayer. I don't give myself enough grace to let go of the long list of things to do: you know, those beads you keep stringing on a thread but there is no knot at the bottom (clean the bathroom...it will just be dirty in a day or too, etc.) Keep giving yourself grace to just "be" and not do! Your Heavenly Father is delighted in you as his child. And clearly, your hubby knows you are doing just fine!
I'm touched by the fact that you have two children. I believe our last conversation face to face was tainted with grief. Blessings!
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