My Dear Grandmother

After having strokes off and on for the past 5 years, my Grandmother finally went to be with the Lord on August 4th. You may remember a post I wrote about her back in October. She was a dear woman and is greatly missed.

The day before Abigail's birthday, my parents were out running some errands with Grandma and stopped to eat dinner along the way. While they were at the restaurant, my Grandmother had a stroke and was taken to the hospital. Though the first CAT scan they performed, didn't show any sign of a stroke, another later one showed that it was a massive stroke that swelled the entire left side of her brain, forcing it over toward the right side of her brain. It left her unconscious and she never recovered. She died a week later.

The plan was for Abigail to go visit my parents for a couple days by herself, then we would meet somewhere halfway to pick up the girl. Instead though, my mom called after hearing the news that it was a massive stroke and the boys & I got packed up to head over to be with my Grandma & family.

The whole process was beautiful and peaceful...the way you would hope something like that would be. It was a perfect introduction to "death" for our kids...especially for Abigail who will be the only one (most likely) who remembers it. Sadly, she never knew my Grandmother during her "full of life" years. All of her memories of her Great-Grandma will be from the time when she was ill, receiving oxygen through her nose, often coughing on her own saliva and being told to "swallow", (the kids would often copy my Grandma's coughing...and tell each other to "swallow!"), being confined to a chair in the living room, being guided whenever she walked. Though that's all she knew of Great Grandma, I know she knows how very loved she was and that's why she would be found spending time in my Grandmother's room, just looking at her or talking with her, touching her arm or hand. We had many conversations about what was happening...it was just wonderful, truly wonderful. After she died, her body was in the room for awhile and I took the kids in to say "goodbye" and we talked about how Grandma is in heaven now. I thought Abigail was understanding until she said, "no she hasn't gone yet! She's still here!" and then when the men from the funeral home came for her body, she said, "now she's in heaven!" It was very sweet and I realized that I still had some explaining to do! : )

Grandma was brought home, to my parents house on Monday and the hospice nurse said, "it won't be long...she may not even make it through the night." And the next morning, she was still there! A dear friend of my Mom's, Kathy, was an EMT on Crooked River Ranch for years, so she stayed at my Grandma's side until the middle of the night to allow my Mom some time to rest.

Her presence brought an unspeakable peace to my Mom as she watched her Mother living her final hours. My Mom had been my Grandmother's main caretaker for the previous 5 years, so it was such a blessing that during her final days and hours, she could return to being just a "daughter" as her friend took over the care of my Grandmother. It was a tremendous gift and a blessing.

I shared that with Kathy at my Grandmother's memorial service and she said, "well, I'm amazed that I did it too!" Her Father recently died and she knew the hardship of being the caregiver and then the pain of watching a loved one die. She said, "never again...at least not for a long time." And then she said when she went to the hospital and saw my Grandmother, she sensed the Lord telling her to help. "Okay, Lord" was all she could say. Her friendship is a real gift to my Mom...I'm so glad she has someone like her in her life!

My Grandfather passed away back in March of 2003. He was the love of my Grandmother's life and she actually died on his birthday! I don't know if birthdays are celebrated in heaven, but once I realized my Grandpa's birthday was the 4th, I just knew that Grandma would hold on until then to make her final passing. So I don't know if she said, "Happy Birthday" to my Grandpa when she was reunited with him in heaven, but I know there was a celebration happening as she met her Savior face to face and saw her beloved Robiere again.

Elijah's middle name is Thomas, after that very Grandpa. I never ended up writing about that after he was born, but that's where the name came from. It was my Grandpa's last name and although he wasn't my Grandfather by blood, he was the only Grandfather I ever knew and was my dear Grandfather in every sense of the word. He was a wonderful man. He was a Chippewa Indian from North Dakota, so it's a bit funny to have Elijah, our little blondie, be named after an Indian! Oh well.

His son, Robert, came down from Washington to be with Grandma (although he was her step-son) her final days as well. Since Elijah was never able to meet his "namesake", Robiere Thomas, it was special to have him meet his son, Robert Thomas. He felt pretty comfortable with him and at one point when a group of people arrived who Elijah didn't know, he went up to Robert  wrapped his arm around his leg as he stood next to him for comfort. It was sweet.

One of the special things that I will always remember about my Grandmother is this special ring, that's why I took a picture of it on her hand. It was just her. It was a special gift from my Grandpa after they were married. She actually had quite a few pieces of jewelry with turquoise, so whenever I see turquoise jewelry it reminds me of her. After she died my Mom gave me this ring...it's one I will treasure forever!